I Went to a Ball Once...

I went to a ball once… It was awful. Saturday was the boyfriend’s Civil War reenacting group had their annual Grande Winter Ball. I had been waiting my entire life for that, well at least since I first saw Cinderella and then Beauty and the Beast. So clearly I’d been looking forward to it for quite some time. But like with all things I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up for a great magical night.

First of all the ball was set in the 1860’s. How did this help put a damper on the ball of my dreams? It wasn’t in the 18th century. I’m sorry that the clothing from the 1740’s to the 1780’s are my favorite, particularly French fashion. Yes, I love the women’s dresses, but men’s fashion? That shits hot. Some women like Stetsons and wranglers, others like sport coats and oxfords, I like frock coats, cravats, long hair tied at the base of the neck with a ribbon, knee length breeches… Don’t blame me… Anne Rice is to blame, and Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt for making that style look so damn good. But to be fair I doubt the boyfriend would look attractive in any of those articles of clothing except the breeches, stockings and heels because he does have nice calves.

Secondly, I didn’t have a ball gown. So not having a beautiful period correct ball gown was disappointing. But it just wasn’t in the stars for me this year money and time wise. What I did end up buying was a beautiful silk day dress from Originals by Kay. The dress was a bit too long and the fabric a bit to heavy for my other hoop so I purchased a 135” from Abraham's Lady as well as the cotton collar that I had to have the boyfriend sew on. I added a beautiful burgundy belt with a rosette from Creative Cockades . To top that all off I added a gold silk taffeta bonnet with burgundy accents from Dirty Billy’s. What I can say about all of the elements that went into my new ensemble is that they are all beautiful works of art. The artists who created them put love and a little bit of themselves in their creations so I feel pretty lucky to have these works of art in my possession. But... I didn’t have any glass slippers so that’s pretty devastating.

So, how do balls such as this work? Well the boyfriend and I went to a practice a few hours before the event. We learned a few of the basic dances that are standard for the period. So no ‘Chicken Dance’ or ‘Electric Slide’. There are dances such as Reels and Waltzes. These are choreographed dances that most people of the time would know, kinda like our Macarena or YMCA. I had a little fun at the practice and thought that it would be a fun night.

Now, the boyfriend and I seldom don’t argue when were trying to get ready and go to an event. So the weekend before I tired to make sure that might cause a disagreement like having my collar sown on. Because this was something I had really been looking forward to and I really wanted it to be perfect especially since it was the boyfriends first ball as Captain. But did that prevent an argument before hand? … nope.

So since the boyfriend is Captain of the battery he and his “lady”, meaning me, stood at the front of the room with the civilian leader of the group for the “Grand March” where all the guests walk up and bow and curtsy. So I was even denied being a princess fashionably late to the ball, although my dress was blue like Cinderella (yea okay so there’s a controversy about that fact but its blue) and I did have beige yellow so there I have Belle too.

And lastly instead of Prince Charming as my date I get Captain Jerkface. So After the Grand March they do a waltz. Captain Jerkface didn’t even want to try because, “Amber can’t count”or whatever they call it when it comes to dancing and music. And I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to dance that night. Both of us would cut our noses off to spite our face. So we spent to majority of the evening storming about sniping at each other intermittently. Ruining the evening for both of us, something I wanted to avoid so badly. Finally we begrudgingly agreed to dance. Then my hoop broke and the ball ended with us only having danced 2 dances. Captain Jerkface also made fun of me trying to waltz and said I was hobbling. I was trying. It was also suggested that we join Captain Jerkface parents in taking lessons. No thanks! Any unnecessary physical activity is to be avoid at all cost. And I don’t like making a fool of myself in public. And ruining any further balls for Captain Jerkface is a plus. But I’ll go to a ball again just to have an excuse to have a pretty ball gown and an excuse to get dressed up.Any good things about the ball? I got compliments about my clothes… And I did look really good in all of my new wardrobe elements.

EDIT: This blog became a passive aggressive attack on the boyfriend. So, I feel as if I need to add this. The blame for me not having fun lies squarely with myself. While he pushed my buttons and was a jerkface I’m responsible for my own happiness and my own misery. I could have chosen to ignore it and have fun and he would have too. I chose to be stubborn and crotchety and have an awful time at the ball.

I was afraid that it would come off as if the event its self was unenjoyable, and that simply wasn’t the case. I don’t like large crowds, I don’t really get claustrophobic in tight spaces just in groups of people, or when the power was off on Kelly’s Island this summer and we we literally stuck driving around a tiny island that really did almost give me a panic attack. I digress, there were a lot of people at the ball, there were a lot of big skirts at the ball, and the venue was small. That is a valid complaint about the event. However, it’s a good thing that it was packed. Even if they were dressed incorrectly it shows interest in history and the Civil War. The more people see and understand the better especially with events at Cedar Creek in October. Its building bridges and educating. Pulse it’s the groups biggest money maker of the year. So while I complain about the crowding it’s a good thing. There were lots of good baked goods, there as lemonade that was actually sweet enough. The music was good. Had we actually danced our little ball practice earlier in the day would have been very helpful. I plan on having fun at the next ball.